The Managing Up Paradox: Why Recognition Starts with You
Done right, managing up builds trust. Done wrong, it erases your contributions. Here’s how to stay visible—and sane.
I was fortunate at the start of my career to get to spend a week at a Leadership Academy for folks in the media industry. A full week away from the office. Just me (and a few dozen other people from around the country, of course).
After day one—maybe the second or third session—one of the coordinators came over to me and said:
“Hey, you’re here to work on you. If you don’t want to do that, we’re happy to refund your money and send you home.”
Boom. I got it. I’d spent the time so far focused not on me, but on my boss. Not just complaining about him, but trying to figure out how to make him better at his job.
And there it is: the paradox of managing up. Instead of focusing on yourself, there’s this constant pull to invest time, energy, and emotion in someone else’s development.
Guess what? I shifted my focus that week. It’s still, to this day, the most influential training I’ve ever had.
That’s not to say managing up isn’t important. Far from it. But here’s the danger: if done poorly, it can crowd out your own contributions.
The Recognition Gap
Why does this happen so often? Because recognition is in short supply.
Gallup found just one in three U.S. workers strongly agree they received recognition for doing good work in the past week. And only one in five say a boss has ever publicly recognized them.
Recognition isn’t a nice‑to‑have. It’s fuel. Gallup also found that employees who are regularly recognized are more engaged, more productive, and less likely to leave. Yet only 35% of employees say they get recognition weekly or monthly, while half say they’d like more.
So when recognition doesn’t happen, people feel pressure to manage up. It becomes a way to chase what’s missing.
The Self-Promotion Dilemma
Which brings us to the next challenge: how do you make your contributions visible without feeling like you’re bragging?
The Center for Creative Leadership puts it bluntly: “Good work will speak for itself” is a myth. Their research shows many managers are shocked to learn their own contributions go unnoticed. As they put it: “The boss can’t know everything, and facetime is limited.”
So you’re stuck. Speak up, and you risk being labeled self‑serving. Stay quiet, and your work might never be seen.
I’ve watched brilliant colleagues take the second route. They trusted their results would do the talking. They waited. And then they watched their careers stall.
The problem isn’t self‑promotion itself. It’s that the system often forces self‑promotion as a survival skill, not a choice.
But what if it didn’t have to be about survival?
When Managing Up Works
Up to now, I’ve been warning about the risks. But let’s be clear: managing up isn’t bad. Done right, it’s one of the smartest career moves you can make.
Luke Wiesneer, a conflict resolution coach at UC Merced, explains it this way:
“If we manage up successfully, we create a strong relationship with our supervisor that allows us each to have our work needs met and encourages each person to learn and grow.”
Healthy managing up isn’t about fixing your boss. It’s about building a partnership.
It’s about:
Clarity: Understanding what your boss actually needs and values—not just what you assume.
Alignment: Framing your work so it connects directly to their priorities and the organization’s goals.
Communication: Sharing progress, roadblocks, and wins so your contributions don’t disappear into the ether.
Trust-building: Anticipating needs and following through in ways that make your boss’s job easier—without making your own invisible.
When managing up works, it’s not about carrying your boss’s load. It’s about creating an environment where both of you thrive.
The danger is when that balance tips.
Invisible Work & the Cost of Recognition
And when it tips, the cost is real.
I wrote about this back on May 23, 2025, in a piece on the so‑called “$360 billion zombie stat” that makes the rounds in leadership circles. Supposedly, bad bosses cost the U.S. economy $360 billion a year. Billion, with a “B.”
The problem? As I wrote then, the number gets cited everywhere—LinkedIn posts, leadership decks—but rarely tied to a credible source. Gallup has estimated $450–$550 billion lost in productivity from disengaged employees. McKinsey once pegged global productivity loss at $8.8 trillion.
That $360 billion figure? More zombie than stat. A number that feels true, gets recycled endlessly, but lacks context or verification.
But here’s what matters more than the math: invisible work—especially under poor leadership—drains organizations in ways no spreadsheet fully captures.
Recruiter Samar Al Nasswer said it well:
“Bad bosses aren’t just a personal headache; they’re a business problem. From micromanagers and credit-stealers to absent leaders and workplace bullies, ineffective management doesn’t just frustrate employees—it drains company resources, damages culture, and creates ripple effects that impact everything from innovation to retention.”
Those ripple effects often take the form of invisible work. Consider the five costs I laid out in that May 23 piece:
The Turnover Tax: Good employees don’t leave companies—they leave managers.
The Productivity Drain: Micromanagement kills innovation.
The Culture Killer: Fear > trust.
The Cost of Low Morale: Silent quitting and disengagement.
The Reputation Risk: Bad bosses repel future talent.
So whether the number is $360 billion, $550 billion, or $8.8 trillion, the lesson’s the same: invisible work corrodes entire systems.
That’s the same lesson I took from that Leadership Academy years ago: if your focus shifts too much to fixing the boss—or covering for bad leadership—you risk letting your own growth and contributions disappear.
The Middle Management Paradox
There’s another layer to this. McKinsey recently looked at what middle managers actually do, what they say matters, and what their organizations reward. Spoiler alert: they don’t line up.
Managers spend nearly three‑quarters of their time on activities not directly related to talent management. (On average, 74% on strategy and operational tasks, compared with 26% on talent, learning, and direct feedback.)
Even more telling: there’s a mismatch between what middle managers say is important and what their organizations actually value.
The system itself often pulls their focus away from recognizing and developing people. Stretched thin and caught in competing demands, managers can unintentionally create the very invisibility that pushes employees to manage up in the first place.
Managing Yourself First
That week at the Leadership Academy left me with one lesson I’ve carried ever since: you can’t outsource your own growth.
Yes, managing up matters. But not at the expense of making sure your own contributions are seen and valued.
So here’s the challenge: as you look at your own work, ask yourself—am I spending more time trying to make my boss better at their job, or making sure I’m better at mine?
Managing yourself first means owning your visibility. It could be as simple as keeping a weekly log of your accomplishments for one‑on‑ones, or framing your project updates to show how they connect to team goals.
It’s not bragging. It’s giving your manager—and your organization—clear evidence of your value.
The healthiest organizations, and the healthiest careers, start with managing yourself first.
If this hits home, I’d love to hear how you navigate the balance. Drop a comment, or share this with someone who’s wrestling with the same paradox.
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